Alcohol

Tonight I attended a social event for a conference I was attending. An older woman colleague met a young woman of Indian descent and asked her if she could sit with her. Then she pulls me in and tells me I could sit there too. The young woman introduced herself to the old woman, but not to me. I looked at her name tag and saw she was from a lab in San Francisco, and figured that she didn't introduce herself to me because she was a stuck up American cunt who hated my presence, like all American women. I just got a very strong feeling that I was unwanted and this made me impulsively just want to leave. I couldn't take it. So I ended up just walking away from the table. This must have been perceived as very rude but I just couldn't take it.

Afterwards I went off into a corner and just sat alone. I just felt horrible. I started thinking about how much I hate everyone, and how everyone hates me, and how hopeless things are to me.

They were serving free alcohol there and even though I (for arguably religious reasons) don't drink, I decided I would try alcohol because I knew I would be miserable for the entire event if something drastic did not change, and I thought maybe alcohol might be that drastic change.

I took a glass of wine (later on I got seconds), and as soon as I drank it all my feelings of anxiety were gone. This alone was a miracle. I went from feeling hopeless to feeling like things weren't so bad after all.

I started walking around, hoping I would bump into people to socialize with. There were some African drummers performing and as I was watching them two people from a German company approached me and we started talking and for once I felt like I could socialize like a normal person. I had no anxiety whatsoever. I spoke exactly what was on my mind. I was more articulate and could speak faster and more forcefully. I complained about the charismatic people at my last workplace who sold their software to management as the best thing ever, and they told me "that's the American way".

I was a completely different person on alcohol. It made me smarter or at least it made me seem smarter. It made me charismatic.

I am normally such an anxious person and alcohol seemed to have made my anxiety go away completely. This could be a real game changer for me. I even felt like I would be ready to talk to a girl and not feel anxious.

I always knew alcohol made people more social but I never expected that it would have this profound of an effect. I wonder why people never told me about this. People who know me should have told me that the reason I have so much social anxiety is because I don't drink, and if I just drank it would all go away.

Don't be fooled. Alcohol is no solution. It won't "fix" a problem.

You might feel like things are better, but it's only an illusion. The more you drink, the worse it's going to get.

You're going down the wrong path. Stop while you can, before it's too late.

RogerDodger wrote

Don't be fooled. Alcohol is no solution. It won't "fix" a problem.

You might feel like things are better, but it's only an illusion. The more you drink, the worse it's going to get.

You're going down the wrong path. Stop while you can, before it's too late.

All I know is I can socialize with it but not without it. And if I want to get a girlfriend I am going to have to socialize. Nothing else I have tried besides alcohol has ever worked.

I am a different from most people in that I am in general an extremely nervous person. In fact, it was almost a problem for me when getting hired for my current job. It was the main thing they questioned my references about.

I also in general have a high and soft voice which is a symptom of having tense vocal muscles. But on alcohol my voice becomes deep from my vocal muscles getting relaxed.

It is almost as if I have some kind of disorder that alcohol cures. Although I guess the only thing this disorder has prevented me from getting is attention from women.

The concept of Dutch Courage is nothing new.

OmegaKV wrote

All I know is I can socialize with it but not without it. And if I want to get a girlfriend I am going to have to socialize. Nothing else I have tried besides alcohol has ever worked.

It didn't work in the sense of getting you a girlfriend.  Yes alcohol makes people more sociable.  But that won't necessarily get you a girlfriend.  It didn't help me at all.  I tried all the popular recreational drugs and none solved me being incel in America.  Cocaine gives one unlimited confidence.  MDMA is even better than alcohol for socializing.  But only going abroad helped me get a girlfriend.

OmegaKV wrote

All I know is I can socialize with it but not without it. And if I want to get a girlfriend I am going to have to socialize. Nothing else I have tried besides alcohol has ever worked.

You're trying too hard to impress girls, without knowing if they're even worth it.

That's a bad reason to drink alcohol. Stay away from it.

Pipe smoking (in moderation) is a far better option and it can help you focus

I have drunk alcohol a couple more times since this, and even though I have not yet had extended conversations with women while on alcohol, I think I do already notice a difference in women's tone of voice towards me when I am on alcohol vs when I am not.

I think what happens is women see me speak in more complete sentences while on alcohol, they see the forcefulness and rapidity of my speech while on alcohol, they see my directness and intentionality while I am on alcohol, and this makes them view me as a human.

In the last few days there were three instances of women giggling in response to something I said, or talking sweetly to me, all of them attractive young blondes, 1 English 1 American 1 German. The American was a stranger sitting next to me on the airplane, and her tone wasn't as sweet before the flight attendant gave me alcohol (she didn't drink any herself).

Alcohol seems like the real deal. I almost feel like I should just regularly be drinking this stuff, because I am just so much more socially functional with it. Although I am worried if I drink too much this could damage my mind. In general, how often should one drink alcohol?

Today at work I ordered food at the cafeteria and as I was getting my credit card out of my wallet, it fell out onto the counter and made a loud bang. The bang was much louder than one would expect, because my card is unusually thick and heavy for a credit card and has some kind of metal plating.

When my card fell out the young female cashier laughed and said "oh my God was that your card?". I didn't know what to say so I just smiled and laughed.

A split second later it occured to me that if I were on alcohol I would have almost certainly made some kind of comment like "It's a heavy card". This kind of small unnecessary comment seems to impress women, and they are the gateway to meeting women. This is the kind of comments that when I made them impressed the young women at the conference. It's a shame I can't drink alcohol at work.

Why are you over analyzing all sort of menial social situations?

I am giving an appropriate amount or attention to this because lack of these interactions is a big part of why I am incel. I think after having spent well over a decade in adulthood without ever having had sex with a civilian, I am going to have sex with a civilian in the next 6 months. And the reason I am going to have sex is because of ways alcohol affects me, which you think of as being trivial details, but in reality are what will take me from being an incel to a sex-haver.

Worrying about weird minutia probably isn't helping.

I'm not worrying, I am observing them. It is women who worry about them. I addressed the single root cause that resulted in the minutiae which is lack of alcohol in my system.

Alcohol is not some magical panacea you know. There are likely all manner of indicators that you are not one of the minority of dirtbags skanks want to have casual sex with.

You being paranoid and worrying about this kind of stuff shows your insecurities. You think the bad boys they have sex with worry about this kind of stuff you’re posting about?