In these trying times, good men have to wrestle with god

Due to what happened in my personal life and me moving back to my parents, I started to do my own programming again.

In an argument with my dad where I said that I simply just gave the desire right now to go to Japan and use the waiting time to work on my own programming projects. He argued with me that Japan is a saturated country which has no chance to make money and even if I have programming skills, my work has to be recognized by society to make money.

To him, make money is priority 1 and every else is secondary. To please him I would have to conform to modernity to lead a seemingly “secure” life , I couldn’t find myself doing that.

I am wrestling with god… I wrestled with god my whole life

What we want to do is always wrestling with what we want to do.