Why was the girl nervous?

classic Classic list List threaded Threaded
1 message Options
Reply | Threaded
Open this post in threaded view

Why was the girl nervous?

At work there is this young American girl in my group who normally seems nice to me. For example she smiles and says hi to me in the hallway. I'm not sexually interested in her because she has a fiance, but it still gives me a nice feeling when a young woman shows me some basic manners and doesn't treat me like shit. I'm not sure if this is relevant, but she is not college educated - she works a hands-on kind of position, so her status is supposedly lower than mine.

Yesterday there was this social event at work which this girl is one of the volunteer organizers of. Before this event I drank alcohol to make me less nervous. I was speaking with a male coworker about how we should have these events more often (I need more social opportunities to meet people), and how at my last workplace they had an event similar to this every week. Then I saw that girl from my group walk by and I called her name. I would have never had low enough inhibitions to do this if I had not drunk alcohol. Then I proceeded to tell her the same things I told the male coworker, and said she was the more important person to be talking about this to since she was the organizer.

What seemed odd to me was that even though I was completely calm (due to the alcohol), she had a very nervous expression on her face as I was talking to her. She tried to fake-smile, but underneath there was an expression of nervousness that kept coming out, and she looked like she was extremely uncomfortable that I was talking to her. After a few seconds of me talking to her she invited another person into the conversation because she wanted me to talk to him instead.

You see, this is what pisses me off about American women. I was clearly talking to her for reasons that concerned me, and they were not related to her sexuality. But something made her extremely uncomfortable that I was talking to her. Does she think I was trying to hit on her or rape her? It should be acceptable for a male coworker to talk to a young female coworker at a social event for work. I wasn't even making small talk for the sake of socializing with her, I was talking to her because of her position as a volunteer in organizing the event I was interested in, so I had a legitimate reason for talking to her specifically. But no, I guess this was a big no-no for me to talk to her, because I am a creepy man.

I have been thinking about if there are going to be any repercussion for me for having talked to her. Is she going to complain? Is she going to tell other girls at work that she was getting "creepy vibes" from me? Is she going to retaliate against me in some indirect way? Being a male in the US I truly feel like a second class citizen, who should know better than to talk to the first class citizens (young women).